- Dad: My Father's Life Drawn from His Scrapbook Memories
- The Constant Scrapper – If I'm not scrapbooking I'm thinking about scrapbooking!
- DAD : My Fathers Life drawn from his Scrapbook Memories
- PDF DAD : My Fathers Life drawn from his Scrapbook Memories
Dad: My Father's Life Drawn from His Scrapbook Memories
In the National Conference of Commissioners on Uniform State Laws — an influential body of lawyers and judges that proposes model laws — drafted a compromise. The proposal would allow the presumed father, the biological father or the mother to challenge the paternity until a child turns 2. The last time Smith saw his one-time daughter was nine years ago, when she was He has long since lost track of Chandria. It is as if she ceased to exist once their biological connection evaporated.
Chandria, however, has not forgotten Smith. Her memories of her 11 years with him are happy ones, which makes what happened afterward so hard for her to grasp. As Chandria, who is now 20, remembers it, Smith just disappeared from her life. She stopped seeing friends and holed up in the bathroom, scratching and picking at her skin until it bled. The more it hurt, she told me, the calmer she felt.
The Constant Scrapper – If I'm not scrapbooking I'm thinking about scrapbooking!
Chandria received counseling at her school and privately for years. Chandria now attends college in Georgia. She has seen Carnell Smith on the local news and on the Internet and cannot reconcile the man who seems to her so insensitive with the father she knew: attentive, seemingly proud of their relationship and eager to spend time with her. Besides, society has increasingly recognized that parenthood is not necessarily bound to genetics. Reproductive technology has made it possible for one person to supply an egg, another to fertilize it, a third to gestate it and a fourth and fifth to be deemed the parents.
Stepparents, grandparents and same-sex co-parents are increasingly winning legally protected access to children whom they helped raise, even when no direct genetic link exists. My parents are the ones who went through all the crap I gave them growing up. How many among us have trolled through genealogy records in search of unknown relatives or have welcomed strangers into our homes and hearts in instant intimacy simply because a genetic connection is suddenly revealed?
A lovely man!
The emotional connection between newly discovered kin is trenchant because we believe the genetic link to be significant, allowing us to embrace a stranger who — if that tie were lacking — we would never otherwise blindly accept. If betrayal and money are taken out of the equation, would everything look different? Denny Ogden has thought a lot about these questions. He was 54 when he got a phone call from a woman saying she was his daughter. As a college junior, Ogden had an intense summer romance; that September, the woman told him she was pregnant and planned to give up their baby for adoption.
The day the baby was born, Ogden called his old flame from a pay phone on campus and listened, distraught, as she described the beautiful baby girl she knew she needed to give away. He felt confused and guilt-ridden. In the 34 years that followed, Ogden only rarely thought about that little girl. He married, had three kids and settled into a comfortable life in Connecticut, telling his secret to no one, not even his wife. Shaken, Ogden called his lawyer. It did. Two months after their first talk, Ogden flew to Seattle to meet her. He and Griggs spent four days, morning to night, catching up on 34 lost years, staring in the mirror side by side, comparing noses and ears and hair.
Ogden was so reluctant to leave that he even stayed an extra day. Both felt certain it would confirm what they already felt to be true. Griggs was devastated, too. Her biological mother was dead, and she had lost the man she thought was her father. She sobbed for days. When I was going through my divorce, we talked three, four, five times a day for weeks.
DAD : My Fathers Life drawn from his Scrapbook Memories
Griggs is no longer interested in finding her true biological father. For her, Ogden is enough. Several suggested that DNA paternity tests should be routine at birth, or at least before every paternity acknowledgment is signed and every default order entered. In other words, the same care that hospitals take ensuring that the right mother is connected to the right newborn — footprints, matching ID bands, guarded nurseries, surveillance cameras — should be taken to verify that the right man is deemed father.
Mandatory DNA testing for everyone would be a radical, not to mention costly, shift in policy. Yes, the plan would reveal truths some men might not want to know.
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Yes, it would raise administrative costs, lower the number of paternity establishments and blow apart some families. But far fewer children would be entangled in traumatic disputes in which men they call Daddy suddenly reject them. In the meantime, maybe the solution is to accept that lives can be messy and relationships much more complicated than the law would like. In other words, maybe a nonbiological father could be granted custody rights even if the biological father is charged with paying support.
PDF DAD : My Fathers Life drawn from his Scrapbook Memories
A small but growing number of courts in other states have gone this route, but such arrangements are still rare. They are exceedingly complex, intellectually and legally, and perhaps most significantly, the issues are hotly disputed politically. He knew the appellate court was unlikely even to consider DNA evidence , but if it did, he wanted to make sure the veracity of his test results would not be questioned.
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Sticker: Sweetwater. Stamps, acrylic paint: Making Memories. Buttons, trinket: Junkitz. Ribbon: Offray. File folder: Rusty Pickle. Three vertical 4x6" photos fill Kelly's 12x12" page. She converted the middle shot to black-and-white and placed pics of her son and husband playing on either side. She included only a few words of journaling, instead letting the expressions on her subjects' faces tell the story.
Flowers: American Crafts. Bright patterned papers instantly draw attention to Robyn's layout. She layered two smaller photos next to the focal shot, keeping the focus on the expression on her husband's face as he holds their newborn son. Photo corner: Heidi Swapp.